just the right medicine

Accompanying a friend at hospital... We walk into the consulting room and immediately the nurse pounces on me touching the ends of my dreads. She asks if they’re real...firstly I wanted to knock her out for touching me as though I was a piece of meat to be prodded and poked secondly I wanted to say, “No they’re all artificial” but I didn’t...it was my best patronising smile instead. Then the nurse said, ‘an African friend of mine who sometimes is a Jamaican has dreadlocks too, he likes Bob Marley and Burning Spear?!!!’ I was speechless how can you sometimes be a Jamaican????

the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Out shopping with a very good friend when a man walks by and says...
‘They’re the loveliest dreads I've ever seen.’
My friend looks quite surprised by a stranger approaching me and says people really do come up to you and say things about your hair... I say that’s why I have hair encounters... She thought I just made them up...no all true anecdotes thank you very much.

Short back and sides please!

At a cashpoint waiting my turn...dum, dum, dee da... a guy walks up to me and says ‘you need a hair cut!’ Didn’t have the heart to say if you think that’s bad you should see my armpits!!!

Kids do the funniest things!!!

A seven year old girl comes up to me and grabs hold of my longest dread which happens to be child grabbing length and says is this really your hair... I wanted to say no it belongs to Whoopi Goldberg or something like that but I didn’t, perhaps there will be a place for me in heaven after all, she then says what does it smell like and takes a sniff of it before pushing it under my nose and running off.

A bicycle made for two

On Wednesday I received one “respect” and two “dreadlocks” salutations from passersbys but the best one was two guys on a bike one giving a croggy (local Nottingham dialect also known as a lift, a tow, a tu dready or a ride) to the other. They stopped and asked “how long have you been growing them?” I smile a sweet smile and say as I always do “a long time” – well it’s a bit personal divulging how long. Then one of them says, “mine will be as long as yours soon.” His hair was about a centimetre (if that) long. I laugh along with him like it’s the funniest thing I’d ever heard. Why? Because he was so cute. Shame on me!

Its not the size that matters...!!!

At shop...yes again... no not fish...carrot cake this time...anyway moving on...lady expresses her wonderment at the length of my dreads. Then asks “what do you do to it” I reply just wash and go oh and a little bit of hair oil now and then.” She gets excited... “What kind of hair oil?” I think she thinks it’s going to be a magical solution for making her hair grow. I reply “Anything I can get my hands on.” She looks disappointed that I haven’t pinpointed the magical formula for hair growth.

fishy business

Out shopping... buying a piece of fish for my tea...a nice piece of salmon in fact which I’m going to have with fried dumplings... I love fish... but I digress this is not fish encounters!!! Anyhow an elderly woman in the supermarket says... “Hope you don’t mind me asking but how long have you been growing your hair?” I said “well I started to grow them at 15 and I’m now ** yrs old.” She looks at me and then shouts in a very strong Jamaican accent “JESUS CHRIST you only look 19.”

I smile flattered but when she tries to hold on to me because she wants me to wait for her daughter `to finish her shopping i beat a hasty retreat.